or more aptly titled: my struggle to follow Jesus

Let me begin this post by saying that someone who has always lived in Florida may not quite enjoy this post as much as someone who has never lived here or isn’t “from” here.

I love living in Florida. The weather is amazing (excluding those three unbearably hot & rainy summer months). It’s so great. I love driving my Jeep (which I am unfortunately selling if you know a buyer) across the bridges that span beautiful water on a 70 degree day. And obviously since the weather is usually warm it never really gets cold here. It might get down to 50 degrees in the middle of the night (maybe even 40′s… brrr! [read with sarcastic overtones, undertones, and every tone in between]), but not really cold.

cold = snot freezing on your face.

We don’t have that here.

For most people this is great, but there are times that I miss the cold, every now and again (briefly). It’s fun to see your breath and actually have to put on a jacket or sweatshirt. But we don’t always get everything we want.

So as a result of the general warmness, there are things that are normally associated with cooler temperatures that almost seem out of place.

“Christmas time” is one of those things.

People who know me know that I’m not a big fan of “Christmas time.”

I have no qualms with the actual holiday itself or even the season. My issue comes with the length of time that “Christmas time” envelopes. From the moment 11:59 PM strikes on Halloween night until sometime early in January, America celebrates Christmas. Walmart and other stores put away the Halloween costumes and immediately pull out Santa Claus.

I realize that there’s not a ton of Thanksgiving paraphernalia to be had, but does it really have to be shoved away in some corner to play second fiddle to the commercial giant that is “Christmas time?” Can’t we at least give it equal billing until Thanksgiving actually passes?

For some of you out there, this terrible injustice is a tremendous delight. (It’s probably only a terrible injustice in my head.) And if I’m being honest, I have only one real reason for my disdain of our ridiculously long period for celebrating “Christmas time.”

You are skipping my favorite holiday.

What other day of the year can I sit down and eat until I’m about to explode, then watch football and fall asleep, only to do it all again (multiple times), without anyone saying anything? That’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s Thanksgiving. Who could ask for a better holiday?

food + football = great holiday

“Christmas time” is too long. I shouldn’t hear Christmas songs on the radio (or from my colleagues computers) until December hits (or at least until after Thanksgiving), unless they’re rehearsing for a Christmas musical or something. But even then, it doesn’t have to be for everyone to hear.

Call me a Grinch if you want, but I feel pretty strongly [read: I really, really, overreact every year] about this.

But whether you revel in “Christmas time” or you share my righteous indignation (it’s only righteous according to me) against the perversion of Walmart and other conglomerates toward the rightful next holiday, I saw something today that just doesn’t seem to fit into my paradigm of what “Christmas time” means (aside from the aforementioned fact that Thanksgiving has yet to happen).

I was driving with the top down and no doors on the Jeep, and it was about 85 degrees outside.

I just keep gloating don’t I?

Right before the bridge (going into Fort Myers over the Caloosahatchee River) I looked over and saw one of the unmistakable Salvation Army bell-ringer-station-thingys. Big banner, kettle hanging from a tripod, bell… it’s all there. But when I looked at the woman ringing the bell I had to laugh.

There she stood in a Santa hat, ringing that bell, wearing…

Shorts and a red T-shirt.

Something about that doesn’t fit together with “Christmas time.” When I see the Salvation Army bell ringers I expect a heavy coat & gloves. Maybe even snow on the ground.

I know I live in Florida (and have for three and half years now, how have I missed this before?). And I know that a heavy coat and gloves are less likely to happen (except when the temperature drops to 50 and the snowbirds [read: old people who come down for the winter] are out walking with heavy coats and gloves because 50 degrees is so cold [sarcasm again, you'd think I'd get tired of it]), but I’m stuck. My idea of “Christmas time” includes cold weather, and I’m having a hard time altering the idea.

But there it is, two things that I just can’t seem to squish together in my head.

I laughed.

…

Well, maybe I didn’t laugh, but I definitely chuckled.

Either way, I don’t know that anyone else will find that as funny as I did…