Being Chuck

Someone asked me the other day why I think it’s fun to learn new things (perhaps because I say it is so very often). And for the first time in recent memory I didn’t have nor could I come up with an answer. (Which, for those of you that know me well enough, this is a problem…)

Why is it fun to learn new things?

I really do like to learn new things. My new job has been a lot of fun (most of the time) due almost solely to the fact that I keep learning new stuff. Whether I’m learning about Online Banking, IT, or just more about people and the way they interact, it’s fun.

But I have no idea why. Why do I enjoy learning?

My default answer has always been that I’m a little bit  [read: way more than most people probably realize, ask my wife...] nerdy, and that’s usually enough for most people. But for some reason it wasn’t enough for me this time. It wasn’t enough to make fun of myself and move on. I needed the real answer.

What is it that compells me to read stupid trivia crap or watch software tutorials on the internet? What drives me to try new things? What is it about that knowledge of one more thing that causes me to keep pushing?

Is it a genuine and pure thirst for knowledge motivated by a desire to help? Or is it a desire to be seen as knowledgeable?

Do I really enjoy knowing? Or is it simply that I enjoy other people knowing I know?

I’m not sure…

If you’ve read my blog before you have probably noticed that in my self-awareness I tend to assume the worst about my own motives.

I am a cynic (mostly about people). And I know me better than anyone else does. I hear my thoughts. I know my motives.

I’d like to believe that I enjoy learning because my motives are pure and I just have a thirst for knowledge and I take joy in helping people, and that’s it.

But I know better. I am a sinner (like everyone else), and I am selfish.

I do honestly enjoy learning things, and I do have a genuine thirst for knowledge. I really do like to help people and knowing more does facilitate that. But I also know that I enjoy the fact that people know I know.

The joy of being human and conflicted…