or more aptly titled: my struggle to follow Jesus

Summary:

God tells Abram to move. So Abram takes his family and moves. Abram settles in Canaan, and God informs him that his descendants will inherit this land. Then he moves to another place. And another. A famine hit, and Abram made his way to Egypt.

When they got close, Abram told his wife to say she was his sister “so they could both be safe.” So Pharaoh took her as a wife. Abram did well, but the Egyptians came down with something… Pharaoh yelled at Abram and kicked them out of the country.

At this point Abram and his nephew have so much stuff (stuff = livestock) that the land can’t handle both in one place. So Abram tells Lot to take his pick of the land.

Some kings came in and conquered the land where Lot had chosen to live and carried off Lot and his family. Abram chased them, defeated them, and recovered Lot and his family and all their belongings.

On thew way back the king of Sodom and Melchizedek greet and bless Abram.

God later comes to Abram in a dream and let’s him know that he is going to give everything to his descendants. To which Abram replies that he has no children.

God makes a covenant with Abram that he will provide him with an heir through whom the entire world will be blessed. This heir will create a new nation.

Sarai, Abram’s wife, decided that she should help God out with His plan, so she gave Abram her maid Hagar to sleep with. Hagar got pregnant and had a boy, Ishmael.

Hagar gets a big head because she has the only heir and treats Sarai terribly. Sarai whines to Abram about it. Abram deflects and defers like any good husband should (please note the sarcasm here), and leaves Hagar in Sarai’s hands.

Sarai returned the abuse, and Hagar ran away. While Hagar was running though, an angel told her to return. So she trusted and returned, despite Sarai’s abuse.

Abram turned 99 and God spoke to him again. “You will be the father of many nations. I will call you Abraham.” Then God told Abraham that circumcision would be the sign of their covenant. Then God told him that Sarai should be Sarah now and that she would get pregnant.

One day God appeared to Abraham, and Abraham had Sarah make some food. The men where Sarah was, and then told Abraham that this time next year she would have a son. Sarah laughed, then denied she did.

God then proceeded to tell Abraham that Sodom and Gomorrah were a mess and that he was going to wipe them out because they were corrupting everything around.

Abraham was appalled and basically argued God down to saving the city if there were just ten good men in the city.

The two angels went to Sodom, where Lot lived. Lot convinced them not to sleep in the street.

When night fell the men of the town came and tried to take the angels by force to rape them. Lot protested and offered up his virgin daughters as bait. No dice, they wanted the special guys and began to force their way past Lot.

The angels blinded the men and pushed Lot and his family out of the city. “Run and don’t look back.”

But Lot’s wife couldn’t resist. She turned back and became a pillar of salt.

Lot lived in a nearby city for a short time, but became afraid and moved into the mountains with his daughters. But before long, the daughters worried that they would never find husbands (and thus never have children). So the older devised a plan to get pregnant. Get dad drunk.

And they did. The older took her turn, then the younger. Both ended up pregnant by their father.

Back to Abraham. He moved again, and this time told another king that Sarah was his sister. So that king sent for her. But before he made her his wife, God spoke to him in a dream. That king also yelled at Abraham. Abraham deflects. “She’s my half-sister.” The king allowed Abraham to live there in that land.

Sarah got pregnant. She gave birth to Isaac.

One day Sarah noticed that Ishmael was poking fun at Isaac. And she asked Abraham to do something about it. So Abraham banished Ishmael and Hagar (God told him it would be okay).

Hagar and Ishmael were given enough food and water to last for a while, but when it ran out Hagar left her son under a bush so she didn’t have to watch him die. God heard the boy crying and spoke to Hagar and told her to buck up. And she looked up and there was a well.

Ishmael grew and became strong.

The king came back to Abraham and said, “God is with you. Promise me you won’t come after me.”

Abraham agreed, and then question Abimelech about a well that was stolen from him.

So the two made a covenant. And Abraham’s family thrived there.

One day, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Abraham obliged and took Isaac up the mountain. Isaac asked where the animal for the sacrifice was. Abraham deflected again. But right before he actually took the knife to Isaac, and angel interrupted Abraham. God provided a ram for the sacrifice.

God blessed Abraham once again.

Abraham had more children, and Sarah died. The people there loved Abraham and gave him a place to bury Sarah.

As Abraham got older God continued to bless him. But when he was near death he made his servant promise to get Isaac a wife from Canaan.

Then the servant left to find Isaac a wife. When he got there, he asked God for a sign, and God provided. The girl who came first was beautiful and gracious. So the servant returned and met her family.

After a short stay, Rebekah and the servant returned to Isaac.

Abraham remarried and had more children. But he was always partial to Isaac. Abraham died and was buried next to Sarah. God continued to bless Abraham’s family through Isaac.

Rebekah got pregnant and had twins. Jacob and Esau.

The boys grew up and lived completely different lives. Esau was a hunter, and Jacob was a homebody. Jacob was also an exceptional cook.

One day Esau came in hungry and sold his birthright for some stew. And that was how he lost his birthright.

Another famine came on the land. People became restless and the men of the area began to ask questions about Rebekah because of her striking good looks. Like father, like son: Isaac said, “She is my sister.”

Abimelech (apparently doesn’t learn from past mistakes) was interested in her, but looked out one day and saw Isaac making out with her (or something similar). He questioned Isaac about it, then reprimanded him much in the same way he had his father.

Soon after Isaac was forced to leave the area. But God continued to honor the covenant established with Abraham through Isaac.

When Isaac grew old, he sent out Esau to hunt for him and prepare his favorite meal one last time so he could bless him. But Rebekah overheard and sent Jacob in dressed like Esau. And Jacob stole the blessing from his brother. Esau vowed revenge.

Rebekah and Isaac feared for Jacob’s life and sent him to live with Laban. While on the way he had a dream about a stairway to heaven and was reminded by God of the covenant held by his family.

He proceeded on to Laban’s. He got to a well and asked for a drink, but the men there told him he’d have to wait. The stone took seven men to roll away from the mouth of the well.

Jacob saw Rachel coming to the well, knew she wanted water, and rolled the stone away on his own. Jacob worked seven years for his uncle to marry Rachel, but got Leah instead. So he worked another seven years for Rachel.

Leah wasn’t as loved as Rachel, so God blessed her with children first. Rahel became jealous and gave her maid to Jacob. She bore him children. And so Leah did the same.

Finally God allowed Rachel to get pregnant and Joseph was born.

Laban recognized that God was with Jacob, and tried to convince him to stay. He even tried to trick him again, but God was with Jacob and continued to bless him.

Eventually Jacob grew tired of Laban and left in the night. He took his wives, families, and flocks and fled in the night. He didn’t know that Rachel took her father’s gods though.

Laban took offense that Jacob stole the gods, and chased after him. But Rachel hid them in a bag and sat on the bag. She refused to stand, claiming she was having her period.

Jacob convinced Laban that no one had taken anything and Laban went on his way.

Tidbits:

I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that our relationships no longer work in the same manner, but I can’t believe that Abraham called Sarah his sister and she went along with it.

How long was she “living” with Pharaoh?

How on earth did Abraham get away with that twice?!?

Who knew that Abraham was the first bleeding heart?

How much Jerry Springer can one family take? Lot’s daughters lacked some serious moral guidance to sleep with their own dad. I wonder how much of that terrible decision making came from the environment they lived in.

How did Abimelech fall for “she’s my sister” twice? And did Isaac hear that story from his dad? Or was it genetic?

Thoughts:

There are lots of stories in the Bible that are “incomplete” in my eyes. They’re not really incomplete, but I do often want more details. It’s just hard sometimes to believe there isn’t more to some of those stories.

When God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, there had to be more. God tells Abraham to go sacrifice Isaac, and he just does it? Do-de-do… here I go. Gonna kill my son. I don’t think so.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe these people in the Bible stories really were more special than me. Maybe they possessed some uber-spritual peace of mind and trust in God that is beyond me. But I don’t think so. God makes men out of mice. He uses the weak and foolish to shame the wise and strong.

So I end up at this… there has to be more.

God calls to Abraham and asks him to sacrifice his only son. The son Abraham and Sarah have waited their entire lives for. (In Abraham’s case 100 years.) If Abraham doesn’t speak up then, if he doesn’t argue or question, at least he has second thoughts.

God, are you serious? You made me wait all this time for a son, then you ask me to give him back? Who am I? Job? At least you just took his kids… you’re asking me to give mine back. You want me to kill him myself! I won’t do it! I can’t… You can’t be serious? Is this some kind of weird test? A sick joke?

Obviously at some point, Abraham’s devotion to God won out. But there had to be a part of Abraham that was in doubt. His mind had to be wrecked. He was wrestling internally with the most awkward and difficult decision a man could face.

And that doesn’t even consider how he dealt with Isaac’s questions. We don’t really know how old Isaac was, but he was probably a teenager. Which means he had to have some semblance of what was going on.

“Dad, where’s the lamb? What are we sacrificing?”

How do you answer?

And to make it even worse, if Isaac knows and he’s still going along how much more is Abraham struggling?

My son has to know… he’s not stupid. And he’s still walking with me, still carrying the wood. I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I can’t imagine Abraham getting anywhere close to that mountain without bawling uncontrollably.

He can’t look at his son. He can barely answer. He knows what God wants, and what he “should” do, but how can he possibly kill his own son?

They reach the top of the mountain. And Abraham prepares the altar. Did Isaac try to help? He carried the wood. Did he help his dad lay it out on the altar?

He finishes with the wood, and with tears streaming down his face and the face of his son (who by this point has no doubt as to what is happening, no matter his age), Abraham ties up his own son. He takes his flesh and blood and ties him with rope… to hold him still. Hold. Him. Still. So he can kill him. He ties up his own son to hold him still.

The amount of internal conflict we feel when we have trouble deciding how to punish our kids or let them suffer consequences is nothing. Abraham tied up his own son to prepare him and hold him still.

Then he laid him on the altar.

Another interesting thought. If Isaac is a teenager, and Abraham is past 110, could he lift Isaac? Or did Isaac have to help him? Did he help maneuver his own tied up body onto the altar to help his father prepare to sacrifice him?!?

So here is Abraham, standing over top of his one and only son. Tears are streaming down his face, his hands are trembling, and he has to look his son in the eye and reach for a knife.

He reaches through the blur of tears to the side of Isaac, and grabs the knife. His hands are trembling, and his knees are weak. He mouths, “I’m sorry,” but the words won’t come out.

No matter what Isaac does, nothing can make this easier for either of them. If he lays still, he makes his father proud. He obeys in the face of death, to the point of death! If he squirms and cries out, his father’s heart melts, everything in his body screaming to stop the person who is hurting his son (which is consequently him).

He raises the knife over his head, conflicted yet committed to obeying what he truly hopes is what God wants. His heart is torn in two with what he is about to do.

At the last possible moment, an angel intercedes. God provides a ram.

Now, maybe you believe that Abraham didn’t ask questions. Maybe he blindly obeyed and so did Isaac.

But maybe, just maybe God was using a little foreshadowing here. Maybe he wanted to us to question Abraham so that we could understand later on the depth of what He did for us.